Conundrums: The joy of malaprops

Sometimes, improper language usage can be downright hilarious. Take the malaprop—an incorrect word used in place of one that sounds similar. In the new context however, it often results in a confusing—or very funny—phrase.

Here are some examples:

A rolling stone gathers no moths.
I have no delusions to the past.
Rainy weather can be hard on the sciences.
He had to use a fire distinguisher.
Michelangelo painted the Sixteenth Chapel.

No discussion of malapropos would be complete without a few from the all-time king of malaprops himself, good ol’ Archie Bunker from the All in the Family TV show. Archie gave us hundreds of hilarious examples over the years. Here are a few doozies:

“The sexual act was never constipated.”
“I just don’t want you to do nothing on the sperm of the moment.”
“What’d ya think, you were gonna pull the wolf over my eyes?”
“What do I look like, an inferior decorator?”
“A witness shall not bear falsies against thy neighbor.”

Have any favorite malaprops? Share with us in the comments, on Facebook, or on Twitter @dtrio.